lusciousspike: (See)

Title: Constant
Author: lusciousspike
Characters: Spike, Angel.
Summary/Timeline: Post-You're Welcome Ats S5. Angel realizes he had lost Cordelia and goes to the one constant in his life.

Disclaimer: No claim over this Verse. I can’t claim ownership and I can’t bring myself to claim I’m ever gonna be over it. I’m kinda okay with that as long as I can play.
Author Note: this MiSS had been written on my cell phone for a LONG time. I just never found time to download it to my pc and finish it. Best read after viewing the episode. This is a standalone ficlet.



MiSS - Post You're Welcome - Constant  )





Dec. 14th, 2008 10:21 am
lusciousspike: (See)

What is this MiSS I speak of? Well, it's a shortening I've so *cough* wittily devised referring to Missing Scene Series: a bunch of standalone ficlets/short fiction that resulted from the need to see more of something, or feeling that there was a scene missing on the show that could use some elaberation. Generally, MiSS will follow the canon of the show and would stick to characterization as best as possible. And if the scene required slash, pre-slash or indication of such, then... who are we to argue? ;)

MiSS usually pop up when me and my friends talk - a handy outlet when WB (that's Writers Block not that the other isn't as bad) strikes hard.

The only rule to MiSS is that they stick to canon as best as they can, character and story wise, in a way that doesn't diverge much from the show, or at best, at all. If there are any pairings within the MiSS it is a canon not fanon pairing, hints and innuendo are exceluded, for reference see the works of Joss Whedon. 

To read the stories in the order they were written in (old to the new ones) check here

Now. What follows is a chronological list (canon wise) and short discriptions/summaries, characters and timelines of the MiSS I've written so far: 


MiSS )


lusciousspike: (Lorne-NFA by Zugma)

 Been a while since I found the time and the muse to write something. This has been running around my head for months. Here’s hoping my fingers are rusty!    

Title: Enchained Bedlam
Author: [info]lusciousspike

Spoilers: BtVS Season 8 - but nothing really much seeing as it is a POV.  

Setting: Volume 1 – THE LONG WAY HOME    

Summary: How was it that Ethan got into Buffy's mind? He sure seemed like an expert jumping through her dreamspace.
Disclaimer: If I hold any claim over this Verse I would shout it off the rooftops. Seeing that I’ve yet to do that should indicate without contest that I own nothing but inane words of which I incessantly (if lucky) spout.  

Note: Part of Missing Scenes (MiSS) but as usual a standalone. 


Thanks to[info]lusciousxander for the quick read, and the insistent nudges of “post it, already!” If there is one way to fight damn writer blocks, it is someone nagging them away. ;)






Enchained Bedlam )

Story Nominated for:


lusciousspike: (See)
Title: "H17" -The Past Unlocked    
Disclaimer: If I hold any claim over this Verse I would shout it off the rooftops. Seeing that I’ve yet to do that should indicate without contest that I own nothing but inane words that I incessantly spout.  
Spoilers:S4 BtVS. S5 Ats "Why We Fight".
Summary: Willow is able to procure some computer files before the underground Initiative base in Sunnydale was shut down. She shares a discovery with Xander.
Characters: Willow, Xander (Spike and Angel mentioned).
Author notes: I’ve had this idea/query since the first time I saw season 4 and Spike was captured by the Initiative. “Why was Spike called ‘Hostile 17’, not a higher number?” It was only confirmed later when season five Angel aired. I don’t know if this could be considered a missing scene or not (I’m a bit iffy myself – it’s more of an explanation, which most of my MiSS are). It does also clarify one thing Xander mentioned near the end of a fic I wrote “The Odd Man Looking In” which you need not read (unless you’ve read that one and/or want to).  
Thanks to [personal profile] lusciousxander for the quick beta read! *hugs*
Now onto the real reason we’re here.

lusciousspike: (spike by Peace)
Title: The Other Side to the Story
Author: [personal profile] lusciousspike
Rating: For the eyes of anyone who can read…
Summary/TimeLine: Season Five ANGEL “The Girl in Question” and a spoiler or two to Joss Whedon’s Season Eight BtVS. Italy, what really happened?
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon claims he gave this fandom life. What? You see me arguing with that?
Note: 1. Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSS but is a stand-alone like all of them are.
           2. For other Missing Scenes go here.
Thanks and snuggles to my [personal profile] lusciousxander for her quick beta!


lusciousspike: (Default)
Title: Enchanted Locks
Author: lusciousspike
Feedback: Want it, crave it, take requists by it.
Characters: Dawn, Willow.  
Summary/TimeLine: Between seasons 5-6 after Buffy's death. Might pose a spoiler to Season 7, why? Because I know I am not the only one who was baffled at Dawn's hair jumping from straight to full of curls.
Note: 1. Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSS but is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are.
2. Check out the photos at the end of the fic for demonstration… there might be more but these two episodes are the ones that stuck in my head.

For other Missing Scenes go here.

Thanks to lusciousxander for the quick read!

lusciousspike: (Default)
Title: Chatting Dead
Author: lusciousspike
Feedback: C’mon, tell me what you think and let me know your requests.
Characters: Spike, Tara/The First etc.
Rating: 15+ due to some strong language and references
Summary/TimeLine: Season 7, Pre- Same Time, Same Place . “You did it once, I heard about it,” Spike said declaring his knowledge about Willow skinning someone. Um. How did nutty!Spike know about that?
Note: 1. Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSS but is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are.
2. My darling Carla requested a MiSS on how Spike found out about what Willow did to Warren. Here’s looking at you [ profile] rua1412!

For other Missing Scenes go here.

Thanks to luciousxander for the quick beta!

Chatting Dead )

Fic: Empty

Jun. 13th, 2006 06:48 pm
lusciousspike: (Default)

Title: Empty
Characters: Xander, Spike, Dawn, Willow, Anya.
Rating: Something for all ages…
Summary/TimeLine: Season 7, during End of Days. Willow said that the house was empty…but  was it really?
Note: Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSS but is in fact a stand-alone ficlet like all of them are.
Thanks to [personal profile] lusciousxander for the quick beta!
Empty )
Banner made to me by [ profile] uglybusiness
lusciousspike: (spander by Liz)
Title: Weighing Down
Rating: Something for all ages…
Characters: Xander. Mentioned: Spike, Joyce.
Note: Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSS but is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are.
Summary/TimeLine: Post Forever. Whatever happened to those flowers?
Warning: Mention of character death.

Thanks to lusciousxander for the quick read!

Weighing Down )
lusciousspike: (Default)
Title: Now or Never
Author: lusciousspike
Feedback: Do it… you know you want to!
Rating: For over 13 in regards to hidden meanings.
Characters: Xander, Faith.
Series: Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSSbut is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are.
Summary/TimeLine: Right after Dirty Girls. Faith owes Xander something that was long overdue.
Notes: Indication to events happened in season 3 BtVS.
Could be seen as a sequel to [ profile] lusciousxander's Strange

Thanks to lusciousxander for the quick beta!


Now or Never )
lusciousspike: (Lorne-NFA by Zugma)

Title: A Place to Call Home
Author: lusciousspike
Feedback: Do it… you know you want to!
Rating: Something for all ages *g*
Characters: Lorne.
Pairing: None.
Series: Part of the Missing Scene Series but is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are. Click on miss tag for other Missing Scene Series ficlets.
Summary/TimeLine: Post-Not Fade Away. A lost soul finds his way back home.
Warning: Mention of character death as spoilers to the end of ANGEL. 
ETA (Feb22/2008): AN: With the recent comic A:ATF release, this story has been contrasted by Lorne's arrival. I have been retconned! ;)

Other missing scenes.

Thanks to [personal profile] lusciousxander for the quick beta!



A question needed answering and he couldn’t answer it. Why? Why did he turn away?

Having answers was his job for so long that he now defined his life on that perception. He had the answers, or he could find them. He could make them if he was able to. He wanted to help. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He didn’t belong, never did, not anywhere he had gone to. So, faced with something new, he made his own sanctuary, a place he called his own. It was his, his private place to do with as he pleased, and he helped all kinds of people there.

There, he met them. A group of mismatched souls that also never quite fit in. They all had burdens of their own to carry. Somehow, he felt connected to them. Responsible. They came to him, again and again, for guidance, a steady hand, a friendly grin and a kind helpful heart in a world they had chosen filled with demons of all kinds that wanted them dead. He guessed he was a sign of the broken rule. He was always ready with a welcoming ear and a cold drink.

He went to them when he needed aid not just because he needed it, but also because he wanted to know what happened to their stories in this crazy world they called a life. They didn’t make a living by doing it, not really, but they kept with it. Because it was right. They helped those who needed help … the good people. That had made him think. He thought he was doing the same until he met them. He thought he was doing good. However, he had been lending guidance and his seeing eye freely, without any variation or how it might affect anyone’s being except his own.

He began to know them, to care for them. And without realizing it, he was one of them. It might have taken him some time to get to that point but he did. He felt safe in the most hazardous of environments. Not alone. It had always amused him in the worst way how those people had an unusual relationship with danger. Even at the end, he wasn’t sure which one they had been, flame or moth. He had neutrally settled on both.

But that was then and this…

It was a complete circle.

He had left this place knowing that wherever he would end up, it would be a good place. A better place than here. His own kind expected him to be like them yet he couldn’t do what needed to be done to be accepted. He knew he was different even then. So, wherever he landed, he had promised himself when he was being pulled into that swirling vortex that first time, that no matter what happened, he wouldn’t let someone force him to do that, what he was born to achieve, be that person he didn’t want to become. It would kill him inside, the song in him would die. He would be like them, deaf to the colors, something he prided himself in not being.

He broke that promise.

He wanted to hate him for making him do it. It was the big man’s job to complete, but he wouldn’t give the human the satisfaction of being taken down by anyone else. Nevertheless, as he walked this familiar dusty trail once more, he knew he didn’t completely resent that man for his request. He was aware that it was a message to the victim of his lack of worth, a final revenge. Even now, he could imagine the hero’s satisfied grin as he stood ready for the end battle, envisioning those last desperate feeble mortal breaths.

It had been their parting gift. Whatever that man who changed his life and so many others’ asked of him he would do it, albeit begrudged. So he had, he asked the perfect person to finish the job. One who had had clean hands, who was weak, pathetic, worthless, all that would reflect on his unknowing prey.

He wanted to hate that request, who had presented it, what it had led to. But even then, he had seen it in that soul that had forgone the countless chances it was presented with, what its owner was going to.

He ended up hating himself.

And there was no place better than here to do that.

“Hello, mother.”

Lorne’s eyes and voice were dead as he stood wearing his homeland garments in front of his gaping mother. He knew killing Lindsey was for the best, he had read the human and saw what he would have done, the only path the man had drawn for himself. He just could not face Angel again knowing what he had done at the direction of the vampire. He knew why he turned away. He just wasn’t willing to face it .

Lorne’s mother gazed deeply at him before smirking. “I had known that Van-tal drokken killer would be good for you.” He flinched. His mother threw her head back and yelled, “Numfar dance the dance of pride and rejoice! The prodigal son retuns drenched in a warrior aura, his own. Come Krevlorneswath now proud warrior son of the Deathwok Clan to the hall of Drink and Chant, and regale your kin on  how you slaughtered that cow swine in cold blood!”

Lorne let out a small mirthless smile and allowed his his mother to lead him. “Why, it's the homecoming I always dreamed of," he whispered an echo of his very words three years ago. "No place like home.”

The End…
Lorne NFA banner by Zugma
lusciousspike: (Default)
Title: Silent Tear
Author: [ profile] lusciousspike 
Feedback: Do it… you know you want to!
Rating: something for all ages… though some might call it a downer *shrug* dunno why they’d say that.
Characters: Xander, Anya
Pairing: Xander/Anya
Series: Part of the Missing Scene Series 'MiSS' but is in fact a stand-alone.
Summary/TimeLine: During "The Body". Remember what Anya said about how Xander reacted to Joyce’s death?
Warning: Mention of character death.

Silent Tear )


“Hey, Xander, this fruit punch is *great* you should try it!” Anya said, her lips wrapped around the tip of the straw. Slurping, she blinked when Xander chuckled, waving her off on his way to answer the ringing phone.

“Xander and Anya’s house of fuity punch goodness!” he said cheerfully into the receiver. Soon after the person on the other end started talking he frowned. “Wills? Willow, slow down… wha…?”

Anya watched entranced as the expressions changed on her boyfriend’s face. She saw him nod monotonously, his lips set in a straight line. She opened her mouth to ask what Willow was telling him, but he spoke before she could.

“We’ll come over.”

She waited for him to say more but that was all he said. Even the expressions had stopped. Her tiny brows twisted. She stood up from her seat and walked over. Easily, she released the phone from his slaked grip.

Anya put the phone to her ear but then pulled it back, scowling at the dial tone.

“Xan…?” Before she could ask him what Willow had wanted, her voice choked for when she looked at the tall brunet she could see tears streaming down his face.

She watched his face as she replaced the receiver. There was no indication to what happened. She felt puzzled, and not a little angry at Willow for upsetting Xander.

There was nothing he could say. Xander looked at Anya and was confused… helpless, as her lips soundlessly moved. Could Anya not hold her mouth shut? At least she didn’t feel the need to omit sound with incessant movement.

Anya was scared. Why wasn’t Xander answering her? Could he not hear her? Willow was always getting in the way of their happy time. Now the icy fruit punch was making her hands numb.

She felt a cold shiver of fear run through her when the only movement from his direction was the slow trek of silent tear after another. Even his chest didn’t show any sign of rise or fall.

Panic started to build. Maybe she should call someone. Buffy could kill whatever turned Xander’s mind into mush.

Nevertheless, Anya couldn’t move. She was frozen at the sight of tears in sluggish movement down Xander’s emotion free face. Was somewhat mystified at the sight; never had she thought she would see Xander weep, even silently. He had never struck her as the sort that would.

She gasped in shock when all of a sudden Xander sprinted into rapid movement. He had picked up his keys, his coat and opened the apartment door in less than five seconds.

Anya opened her mouth in a lunge to question his actions and what had led to them. Maybe this time he would actually listen.


Xander looked down at the doorknob his hand was clutching. He pressed his lips in concentration. His gaze slowly took inventory of his home, before settling on his girlfriend. His girlfriend who was standing in the middle of their living room, looking back at him with concern, worry and not a little fear, still holding on to her drink.

His lips moved and his face contracted. He took a deep breath and coughed a little, his throat hurt as did his lungs, but he didn’t know why that was.

Anya blinked at him. Waiting.

“Joyce died.” That didn’t sound right. There wasn’t even the expected gradual lead to it. That must be the reason to why Anya was looking at him not knowing what to say, even her lips stopped moving in an open gap. He tried again. “Buffy’s mom passed away.” Still didn’t seem right. Maybe Willow could help him explain it better. Maybe Willow could help explain it to him… she hadn’t stop crying on the phone. “We need to go pick up Willow and Tara.”

There, that made more sense. They always went places in his car. Nothing unusual about that, which Anya seemed to get. At least her mouth was not wide open anymore. He wondered why she kept on looking at his cheeks. She opened her mouth again, probably to ask what to wear to such a thing. What else would she ask?

Anya asked. Xander kept on staring dumbly at her as if he couldn’t understand what she was saying. That he couldn’t hear the words being spoken. His mind was already in a jumble of emotions, trying to find reason to it all.

“You’re good to go.” He wiped at his mouth. The air conditioner must be out. Which made sense since it was cold out. “The girls are waiting.” Xander couldn’t think. But he could drive. He went to get the keys from their usual place. He frowned. They weren’t there. He turned to Anya feeling his anger rise. He never liked it when she moved the car keys. He was taken back when she appeared right in front of him, a strange look on her face, one he had never seen before. She placed her small hand on his wrist and he opened it instinctively. There lay the keys.

Anya smiled sadly but didn’t say anything. He was grateful. He didn’t know what he might do if he heard her voice. He might do something stupid like cry. So he let her do what she wanted if it meant she wouldn’t talk. He didn’t even question why she was wiping the sweat on his face. She had always mentioned how she found it very masculine and increased his sexual attractiveness. But he guessed she thought it would be unseemly to appear all manly in front of the others in these circumstances.

Xander seemed to have finally stopped crying. Anya wondered if he was aware of that, of anything. Although, he seemed relentless about one thing.

“The girls need a ride…” to somewhere. He didn’t know if Willow had mentioned wherever or not. He wasn’t sure that even if she had done so, he would have been able to hear her over the sobbing or would have been capable of moving through the pressure that had rushed into his ears as ‘the words’ had left her mouth. He had always prepared himself for a phone call, such as this, about one of them. But not her. Never her. She was constant.

It sounded like ocean waves in his head.

Ocean waves were of good things. They were of the Scooby beach party. Of the basket laden with all his favorite dishes that Joyce had personally packed.

There had to be an explanation.

Why was Anya’s mouth still moving like that? Shouldn’t sound come out? Something other than the waves. He would now prefer her erratic woven words to the sound that flushed away good memories.

Yet, something still aware inside was telling Xander maybe it was a blessing in disguise that Anya had lost her ability of speech.

Did Xander lose his sense of hearing?

He continued to look at her in a befuddled manner.

Why wasn’t Xander explaining this to her? Anya felt herself pout.

He was supposed to be her boyfriend. All strong and masculine, take her hand and show her the human ways. Xander wasn’t supposed to cry, much less seem so at a loss.

She felt mortal, scared and alone. Xander just stood there not talking. Why wasn’t her boyfriend answering her? Explaining why this was happening? What was expected of her? Why did it hurt? What was she to do to make it stop hurting?

And *why* did nice people have to die?

She didn’t understand.

Xander still would not answer her. He was looking at the keys like they held the answers she was looking for.

“Oh, God, we mustn’t keep the girls waiting.” He looked around for his coat. Oh, wait, it was slung over his arm, right. With a firm nod he exited through the open door.

Anya closed her eyes with a sigh. She took a short detour to get her sweater. Her heart thumping fast, her mind overflowed with emotion and eyes burning while she was sure they were not doing that before. The door closed behind her as she followed Xander.

It clicked.

The apartment stood still in silence after the residences’ departure. The wooden door suddenly reopened. Anya, with quick steps, headed towards the kitchen, placed the fruit punch in the fridge then ran out again barely closing the door behind her with a frantic slam.

The End…
lusciousspike: (Default)
'kay, been a long time since I've posted anything, much less a MiSS. But I was a little pissed off... and thankfully I had my Spikey-poo to help me vent.

Title: The Hunt
Author: Mera
Feedback: Do it… you know you want to!
Rating: 13/over for violence.
Characters: Spike, Jinx, Doc…
Pairing: None…
Series: Part of the Missing Scene Series 'MiSS' but is in fact a stand-alone.
Summary/TimeLine: Right after "The Gift ". Spike settles some loose ends.

Thanks to Barb for the quick read and Farah for the amazing beta!


The Hunt )
lusciousspike: (Default)
Wow! It's been a while since I posted here. Well I've written a new MiSS. It's a Spike/Dawn friendship ficlet... hope you like!

How did Spike find out about Joyce's death? )
lusciousspike: (Default)

Title: Someone Who Understands

Series: Part of Missing Scenes (MiSS) but as usual could be viewed as a standalone.

Rating: PG13

Author: lusciouspike

Pairing: None… well there is if you go for that and maybe stand on your head and squint.

Spoilers: Possible for S6 and S7

Setting: Anywhere in the mid S7… after one of the many times Spike was hurt.    

Summary: Two people who needed a good talk with each other in Season 7… well, talk.

Author's note: If you haven't read Missing Scenes before you should know that when watching the show I felt that some characters needed to have certain scenes, so finally I stopped whining and decided to do something… write them as individual ficlets. As usual if you like the ficlet and want more to it, then you do so! *grin* but tell me before hand so I'll read it. 'Cause more than likely, no matter how much you beg (yes you know who you are… still love you, but it's still a no, sorry) I won't write more to it since I wrote it as a ficlet so it would stop bugging me as a storyline.


Thanks for lusciousxander for the quick beta!






"Can I come down?"


He looked up, his eyes lidded and did his best to shrug without jolting any of the numerous wounds on his body. "It's your home more than mine."


She bit her lip and shuffled on her feet. Her eyes unconsciously went from the man in front of her to the door at the top of the stairs, pondering her options. She took a deep breath and donned her resolve face, taking the last two steps into the basement. It was an easy path from there, another few steps and she was standing in front of him.


"S-spike?" she asked worriedly the vampire made no show of acknowledging her presence as she approached him.


After a lengthy silence, blue eyes looked up at her. Her chest tightened at the pain she saw in them as if he were expecting her to lay on him the blame and hurt. She wondered if she had the same look on her face, when she came back, cast at her friends.


After a few seconds, when no word came from either of them, Spike frowned. "Red, what are you doing down here?" he asked.


Willow shrugged and inclined to the small cot. Spike nodded and she sat down and looked down at her hands rung on her lap.


"I thought… I mean… would you like to talk?" she blurted in a stutter.


Spike raised an eyebrow, which was useless since Willow wasn't looking at him. "Uh, not to seem rude- not that I care if I were… but, why?"


Willow giggled. Spike was still in there. It was somewhat comforting. Her laughter ended in a gut-wrenching sigh before she lapsed into silence once more.


"Now that was impressive… care to elaborate the brooding?"


That time Willow looked at him straight in the eye.

Spike pulled back surprised at the raw anguish he saw in those usually carefree green eyes.


"I reason I'm not the one that needs to talk here, hmm?"


Willow shrugged. "I'd understand if you don’t want to. I mean I thought…" She gestured her hand back and forth. "… you and me aren't that much alike except the whole going evil with the killing, maiming and trying to destroy the world…"


Spike cut in. "Now, now, back up. The destroying world bit is your and Angelus' thing … I helped save the world when I was a fully on nasty. But the other things…" He smiled sadly.


"Does it help? I mean thinking about the good you did?"


His smile faded. "Only when you use it to think about… instead of the … other."


"Yeah, the other kinda sucks," she whispered.


Spike looked at her, really looked. The old Willow he knew, the girl whose naive smile lit up a room - sometimes annoyingly so - was nowhere in sight. In her place sat was a grown woman withdrawn into herself - who had seen the good and the bad, and had been both. She was on the path to becoming something great, Spike knew it would be. Just like he knew she was being shaped into something bad with the magic a year ago. She was going to grow to become someone powerful in a short time with the knowledge she held, with the amazing power and the friends that surrounded her. She just needed to see that. To see beyond the pain. He wondered why she picked him to help her.


"Evil clearly rotted your brain, pet. Why me?"


She grinned. "You already asked me that."


He leaned back against the wall and tilted his head. The smile wasn't all gone after all. "And you rambled on in that cute way of yours and got nowhere fast."


"Oh." She blushed and looked down. She pulled at one of the loose strings sticking out of the cot's comforter. "Well, you've been there…" She looked up her eyes haunted once more. "You know?"


Spike nodded and smiled tightly. "Been there, visit regularly."


Willow's expression turned into one of concern and worry. "Spike, are you ok?" She waved her hand. "And I'm not talking physically."


She bit her lip to stop herself from gasping when she saw the potent emotion shining from the vampire's azure eyes. They had always been expressive but this time there was something else there. She felt a jolt of something, it wouldn't be a far guess for her to assume that she was the only one to see that in him. Even Buffy wouldn't witness this. He wouldn't let her. Willow knew that Spike tried his best to be strong for Buffy. He had disappeared to come back winning something no one else had ever sought. Punishment.


She knew there was the need to be loved there. Spike was a creature that sponged love and attention. He knew that he couldn't live without Drusilla and that was why he had kidnapped her and Xander and threatened her into 'make her love him again'. Willow remembered that she had actually thought about doing it. While thinking she had wondered if she should cast the spell to make her love him once more or to love him. She had a strange feeling that Drusilla never really loved Spike. How could someone stop loving someone as easily as she did?


Willow knew that was not possible to accomplish in such a short time, if ever. Buffy had never stopped loving Angel. And she herself would never stop loving Tara - even though she was dead. Willow closed her eyes against the rush of emotion that hit her.

She sometimes even felt her a tingle in her heart whenever she thought that she would one day meet Oz again. Yes, it didn't matter who you love. If you loved with all your heart you never stop. She still had the occasional dream about her and Xander… though she would never tell Xander that.


"Huh, wha?!" Willow jolted at the hand that squeezed her shoulder and the blue eyes that bore worriedly into hers.   


"You okay there, luv? Was talking about me pushing my way through them both… but you had this faraway look in your eyes."


Willow felt herself blush. She couldn't help but ask, "Faraway where?"


Spike cocked his head and leaned back against the wall once more, his legs still spread relaxed, like they were talking about an everyday thing.


"You had the wistful look on you- the one about the past. Roads taken and what ifs… and the decisive wouldn't-have-done-it-any-other-way. Except the one where my choice was taken from me and I didn't like it so I did something I never even contemplated doing."


Willow blinked. Buffy was right. Spike knew them better than they knew themselves.


"Spooky." He smirked at her awed look. "Do you get that way sometimes?"


She felt her heart twist when as taken aback - as if he still couldn't believe that she was here to speak to him, with him. Not just to talk about her own problems.


But, he recovered fast. Spike does that, she noticed. He adapts. He was more human than most humans she knew. His eyes lost focus for a bit before refocusing on her once more.


"Always," he said sadly. "But it's always the other way 'round with me. See the only thing I don’t regret was when my choice was taken from me."


This time she gasped. "But you hate the chip!"


He smiled somehow like he was speaking with a young child who did not understand. And perhaps that was true.


"I wasn't only talkin' about the chip, yeah I hated it at the time. Couldn't fathom living my nights collared like that. But, you see, in a way it stopped me from doing more things that I would regret."


"But to take away your will…"


He shook his head to interrupt her. "I always had will, we all do. It's the missing thing that causes us to feel bad about the wrong things we do that made our choices easier."


"How so?" She turned around and raised her legs to sit Indian style.


"It was fun," he shrugged saying simply. "No consequences, no attachments. No fear. It was a rush."


"You miss it," she accused however understandingly.


He nodded as if she discovered something worth the world.


"That's what makes me know that I've made the right choice. I don't regret the soul. It's the first thing I'm really proud of, my first 'real' choice that had nothing to do with the chip or anyone compelling me. I may've done it for love… but I kept it 'cause it was right."


Willow blinked, realization hit her. "You can remove your soul?"


This time Spike smirked as if he never changed, the same carefree vampire she had met six years ago. Was it so long ago?


"You could always forfeit a prize you know, if you REALLY wanted to. I know I…" He scrunched his face. "… whined and moped about it. But when all things come to pass… I'm glad my nails weren't deep enough to cut it out."


Willow winced. Too much visual for her liking.


"But… you do miss it… the no consequence thing?"


"Don't you?" He raised his eyebrow at her.


She nodded her eyes filling up. "It blocked the pain."


He wiped a tear that went unnoticed by her but she didn't move.






She knew she should feel ashamed but this was why she came here. For someone to understand. Giles might have understood but… no. She knew he wouldn't have understood… not like this.


"Some part of me liked it. Even before… Warren. The being out of control… in control… doing things I've never done before."


Spike's eyes twinkled. "It's always the quiet ones."


Willow glared at him.


He raised his hands in show of peace. "Hey, like I said - been there."


This time Willow had mirth in her eyes.


"Care to share with the class, Spike?"


"Not if you turn Angel's hair purple… wait a sec…" He thought about it. "Nope, not even that."


Willow pouted. "You're evil, spoiling fun is a kind of evil."


Spike turned serious. "Evil is fun, pet, there's no question about that. But in the end of the day… you're always empty."


"That's why you never killed Buffy?" She grinned good naturally.


"No, that's 'cause she's good at what she does." They shared a grin.


Willow's smile melted. "How do you get through it?"          


He sat up pulling his legs forward. He took a deep breath. "Focus on the pain… because sometimes it feels like the only thing that's real. I try to forget, to think of something else… but, I remember everything with perfect clarity."


"Then it never goes away?" Willow's voice hitched.


Spike looked at her sadly. "Willow. I'm as new at this as you are in yours. I'm afraid the answers you're looking for, I can't..." He was startled when a head of red hair fell against his shoulder and two surprisingly strong arms hugging him.


Willow pulled back and green met confused blue.


"But you did help, Spike. Someone who understands and maybe someone who can share with me this new experience."


He looked at her understanding downing him. "That's why you didn't go to Rupes?"


"Giles helped me, I can't deny that. Yeah, I know that he's been where I am, but he knows. I need someone who's as confused about this as I am. Someone who gets it… not knowing their next step but going through with it nonetheless."


Spike grinned. "Then I'm your vamp, 'cause I have no idea what I'm doing."


Willow snickered. "And hey, when we get through this new Big Bad, we'll take a road trip and see Angel for some expert tips."


Spike laughed out load and smirked widely. "And maybe the purple?"

He looked at her with child-like glee, she couldn't help but grin back.
"Sure, if you promise not to annoy Angel too much."


Spike pursed his lips. "Evil." Then he nodded. "It's a deal then."


"We just have to make sure we live through this." She looked at him because she knew that Spike had felt it as well. This was their biggest fight yet. Its darkness and strength called out to both of them and wasn’t the least bit pleased when they didn't heed its calls.


Spike shrugged and sprawled once more. "We'll get through it. If it's the last thing I do."


They sat in comfortable silence - somehow sensing that this might be the first and last time they do this - with only the sound of girls screaming at whatever nonsense upstairs and their separate unspoken thoughts filling it.


The End…   


lusciousspike: (Default)
Title: How did he get it back? 
Author: Mera 
Feedback: Do it… you know you want to!
Rating: Something for all ages *g* 
Pairing: None… well it could work as pre-spander-slash if you want… 
Series: Part of the Missing Scene Series 'MiSS' but is in fact a stand-alone. 
Summary/TimeLine: Right after The Gift. During the run from Glory in Spiral something happened between Spike and Xander that fans had been wondering about for years… this might not shed a lot of 'light' on it… but it's a start! 

Thanks to [personal profile] lusciousxander for the quick beta! 


Knock… knock… knock. 

No answer.


A low creak of a metal door opening was heard, and then another as it closed. It would have been deadly silence of it weren't for the sound of two feet finding their way on dusty cemented floor. The sound of footsteps stopped for a moment before they changed direction. Not back to where they came from but to a darker corner, if that was even possible, in the room. A few feet from their distention they stopped. Silence reigned again.

The corner could have passed for utter blackness if it weren't for a red tip that glowed brighter from time to time.

A puff of smoke, then a rasping voice, from the smoking or from something else the visitor tried not to think, too much on mind as it was.

"What brings you to my humble abode?"

A sigh.

"Buffy would've…"


"Dawn's worri…"


"Fine! I wanted to see if this place was gonna get any dustier any time soon, ok?!"

"Didn't know you cared, Harris."

Xander rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth prepared with an unconscious comeback.

"Damn, I'm out of matches." The brunet's comeback was interrupted by strangely emotionless tones. His actions were spontaneous.

"Here." Xander bent, pulled something out of his pocket and lit the bobbing unlit cigarette. Then straightened up and took a couple of steps back.

Spike took a deep drag and sighed. "Thanks, needed that." Then he looked straight into the brown eyes. "Gonna tell me anytime soon why you’re here? Checking up I might add?"

Xander shrugged. "Hey, you're a good fighter, Bu—Dawn trusts you and would be bummed if anything nasty happened to you… like say you decided to tan minus the sunscreen…"

"Yeah… don't get too excited Droopy-boy… ain't gonna leave the Bit… I keep my promises…" The blond head lowered and soft words were spoken unclearly, "Or at least I try to…"

Xander shook his head. He had done what he had to. He checked on the pet vampire and made sure he was still among the blood sucking populace. He wasn't there to comfort a soul-less thing. No matter how miserable he looked. He turned around and started heading out… but before he even got to the middle of the room, he stopped, turned side ways and threw something at Spike.

"Keep it," he said before he dropped a plastic bag with a couple of blood bags sticking out on the sarcophagus in the middle and let himself out, the door closing softly behind him.

Spike lowered the hand that had easily caught the object thrown at him. He opened his fist. What had been revealed was something that caused the vampire's eyes to widen and glance at the closed door, shocked. For in his hand lay his very own silver lighter.

"How did Harris get it?" he asked the dusty empty room with astonishment lacing his words, trying to remember if he ever gave the boy his lighter. "And… why did he keep it?"

That question will forever remain a mystery.

The End… Wanna do a sequel? By all means … just let me know so I can read!

lusciousspike: (Default)


Title: The Call

Author: Mera

Feedback: Do it… you know you want to!

Rating: Something for all ages *g*

Pairing: None… well it could work as both spuffy and spangel-slash if you want…

Series: Part of the Missing Scene Series but is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are.

Summary/TimeLine: After Chosen. I've always wondered how Angel knew what happened to Spike in Sunnydale.

Warning: Mention of character death.


Thanks to Farah for the quick beta!






"Hi, can I talk to Angel please?"


"Uh, who should I say is calling?"


"Buffy… it's Buffy."


"Oh. Oh! Sure… wait a sec…"



"Buffy? Fred said that you wanted to talk to me?"


"Yeah. Angel…"






"Buffy? Is everything ok? Are you and the others ok? I saw what happened to Sunnydale on the news? Where are you? Are you guys coming here?"


"No… … we're on the road to Cleveland actually… we didn't stop at L.A… I'm talking at a phone at a gas station… thought I'd tell you that we don't need that second front anymore…"


In the background a girl's voice could be heard, "Kennedy, stop slapping my hand away and let me look at that arm!"


"Yeah, so we're okay as you can hear and…"


"Buffy. Are you ok? You sound…"


"Oh God Angel…"


"Buffy…?? Why are you crying? Is... is Dawn…?"


"Oh God no! Dawn's ok… well as okay as she can be when the shock finally settled in."


"Who then?"




"Giles…?" Nothing. "Willow." Silence on the other end. "Xander…?" A hitch of breath. "It's Xander isn't it?"


"N-no… Xander's fine… well not really… he's devastated coz of Anya… even though he's not showing it…  and… well he lost his eye… and…"


"Who is it Buffy?" Firm but hesitant… not really wanting to know… already knowing the answer.


"It’s Spike."




"Angel? I-I thought you should know. I know you two never got along much… or well at all but… Angel? Aren't you gonna say anything?"


A sigh. "I'm sorry Buffy. Was lost in the past a while there. Spike… he's the one constant thing… I never thought that… ever…"


A sniff. "I know. I always told him to leave… and when I stopped wanting him to…" Small laugh. "… guess I know now…"


"It was a little less lonely."




"The whole soul thing… when you told me… it was a little less lonely… and now… well not so much anymore."


"Thought you were all 12-years-old about it." A smile… just a little.


"12-year-olds want to be less lonely too."


"I get that… I'm not lonely now."


He didn't ask.


"Thank you… for telling me."


"Are you going to be ok?"


"Fine. I mean we really never got along, so why wouldn't I be." A question, a statement… it could work both ways.


"Tell that to someone that doesn't know the both of you so well. Well other than Drusilla maybe… and I'm so not going there." A shared mirthless laugh. "It was nice talking to you Angel. It's a little comforting to know that someone else is feeling this as much."


A short silence then a whispered, "Yes, it is."




The End…

lusciousspike: (Default)

Title: Three left

Rating: PG13

Author: Mera


Pairing: None… well there is but telling would ruin it. Actually if you look hard in one of the ficlets… you'll notice some slashy undertones… if not just try standing on your head? *g* a prize if you know for whom! I got three people who got a sneak preview guessing right so I guessed it was ok to send here… slash list and all *G*

Warning: Not very happy. Character death. 

Summary/ Author Note (*cringe* sorry for the extensive babble!): Some things I wanted to happen in S7 BtVS during Conversations With Dead People. Why was it that only Willow, Dawn and Buffy had scenes in that? Even Spike didn’t have any lines in that episode. What really irked me was that Xander, Giles and Anya had no appearance at all. Willow had a visit from the First imprisoning ‘Tara’ I SO am not going into the silliness that is not using the right actress. Dawn from her Mom/The First. And Buffy got to chat with an old friend/shrink wanna be turned vampire. Of course I can’t expect to see both Buffy and Dawn getting a visit from Joyce, so that’s ok. And Willow got a visit from her ‘special person’. Spike, well, poor guy already had enough visits from The First and was under his hold at the time. Hell even Andrew got Warren!

But what about the other three cast members? Didn’t they have special dead people The First can bring back to haunt them?! Well I sure am not claiming to be in any level near the writers of the show but I’m going to rectify that here... isn’t that the whole point of fanfic? Unfortunately you nice people reading this have to endure it... *sheepish grin* sorry!

A/N 2: Okay, so [personal profile] lusciousxander and I have been talking and decided to do a Missing Scene Series 'MiSS' sometimes separately sometimes together, unfortunately for you guys *hides from flying fruits* *waves white flag* it's only some ficlets! Just some scenes that we thought should have happened in the shows. 

Thanks goes out to [personal profile] strickens_girl like always for the valuable beta help! *smoochies* also to Barb for the first-rate quick beta!






Anya )


Giles )


Xander )


lusciousspike: (Default)

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