Title: La Femme Spander
Authors: lusciousspike & lusciousxander
Spoilers: BtVS S6, Entropy
Summery: Anya wants revenge and she'll be getting it by cursing Spike and Xander. The ‘boys’ learn first hand how the other half live.
Disclaimer: they belong to Joss and Co.
Response to Challenge (lusciousspike): Okay… so I was watching BtVS S6 Entropy and I got to wondering, is there a story out there where Halfrek doesn't interrupt Anya's interesting chain of thoughts and Anya carries through her plan… finding someone to wish Spike a woman. Of course, then something goes wrong and he stays that way.
- Part 1
- Part 2
- Part 3
- Part 4
- Part 5
- Part 6
- Part 7
- Part 8
- Part 9 (A)
- Part 9 (B)
- Part 9 (C)
- Part 10
- Part 11
- Part 12
- Part 13
- Part 14
- Part 15
- Part 16
Summary: Unlike the expected outcome of our boys having a night of binging then waking up the next morning in a compromised position – they really did not have sex. Spike knows this but Xander does not as his memory was poisoned by the booze. Furthermore, Spike will sure try his might to make sure that Xander not only believe that they did but also that Xander was the aggressor, and enjoy the confused insanity that will ensue.
#1 G'morning : in which Xander had just been dumped and had run into Spike at the Bronze, then . . .
#2 Spanking Clean : in which Xander thinks he just had his first sexual experience with a man.
#3 To Be or Not To Be A Dream : in which Xander develops doubts over what had happened the night before...
#4 Oblivious Prey : in which Spike reflects on the day’s events, and what he has planned for Xander.
#5 Too Close for Comfort : in which Xander figures some things out... or does he?
#6 Assess the Blame : in which Xander deals, so to speak ...
#7 Sweet Denial : in which it is just another night in Sunnydale. Xander comes to a sudden sweet realization.
Previously: Xander tried to put some sense into what happened between himself and Spike or what did not happen and it had only left him more confused and a little shocked at feeling guilty when it came to the vampire. More confused, Xander intends to burn some shoes that Anya left when she dumped him – the person Xander blames for that morning when it all started. On his way, he unconsciously seeks out Spike and invites him to burn their past. Will his subtle plan work?
Title: Sweet Denial
Series: Messing with His Head (#7)
Rating: 15+ for strong words.
Summary/TimeLine: During Season 5 BtVS. Just another night in Sunnydale. Xander comes to a sudden sweet realization.
Disclaimer: The chars belong to Joss though I borrowed some… am going to keep them for sometime… give them tea and crumpets… maybe make them show me their sexy dance and if I ever get bored *snort* I'll return them.
Sequel to: Assess the Blame, Too Close for Comfort, Oblivious Prey, To Be or Not to Be a Dream, Spanking Clean, G’morning.
AN: Check MWHH Archive for the chapters in order.
Thanks tolusciousxander for the quick read!
( Sweet Denial )[Bad username or unknown identity: ]
What is this MiSS I speak of? Well, it's a shortening I've so *cough* wittily devised referring to Missing Scene Series: a bunch of standalone ficlets/short fiction that resulted from the need to see more of something, or feeling that there was a scene missing on the show that could use some elaberation. Generally, MiSS will follow the canon of the show and would stick to characterization as best as possible. And if the scene required slash, pre-slash or indication of such, then... who are we to argue? ;)
MiSS usually pop up when me and my friends talk - a handy outlet when WB (that's Writers Block not that the other isn't as bad) strikes hard.
The only rule to MiSS is that they stick to canon as best as they can, character and story wise, in a way that doesn't diverge much from the show, or at best, at all. If there are any pairings within the MiSS it is a canon not fanon pairing, hints and innuendo are exceluded, for reference see the works of Joss Whedon.
To read the stories in the order they were written in (old to the new ones) check here
Now. What follows is a chronological list (canon wise) and short discriptions/summaries, characters and timelines of the MiSS I've written so far:
Disclaimer: If I hold any claim over this Verse I would shout it off the rooftops. Seeing that Iâve yet to do that should indicate without contest that I own nothing but inane words that I incessantly spout.
It's finally here, the next part Sweet Denial
And the Summery for those who need reminding: Before the battle with The First something happens that causes Xander to head out to L.A. to give Angel something for safe keeping, but one thing leads to another andâŚ well, youâve gotta read to know the rest .
A more informed Summary: the story contains spoilers to BtVS S7, AtS S3. The amulet Angel gave Buffy which she later gave to Spike activated a little ahead of schedule... with interesting results. It's an ensemble cast (mostly ANGEL) with a gradual relationship between Angel and Xander because of the small thing they have in common. Spike's there too but he's a little different ;) actually, he went through a major change.
Previous Chapters here
Warning: Voyeur Xander (naughty boy!)
Characters in order of appearance: Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Spike, Giles, Willow, Tara.
Pairing: Spike/Xander... sort've... pre-slash.. kinda... slash? *sigh* labeling is so confusing. You tell me when you read!
Summary: Fun ficlet. Itâs Dawnâs birthday party. She makes everyone play 'I Never'.
Disclaimer: Nothing, I own nothing I say! Except this silly plot bunny and the craziness that ensued. Donât blame JossW, ME, WB (no wait blame them! Just for something else *g*)âŚ I merely borrowed the strings to the puppets that they own *sob*.
Notes: 1/ This is set somewhere in season 5 BtVS. Riley left coz Buffy didn't love him. Anya is no more. She gets in the way of SpanderâŚ so she must go. How? Well, thereâs the school of thought says that when Xander professed his love, she freaked and skipped town.
2/ Joyce is still alive. Itâs just that after the surgery was a success she needed to catch up on her work, left for a convention inâŚ I dunnoâŚ New York and was held up for some reason or another. Letâs say, the flight was delayed. So she missed Dawnâs b-day and Buffy wanting to make it up to her sister, fell under the pressure and invited Spike. For no more reason than to stop her younger sis from whining about how crappy her life is, and better than Dawn sneaking off to Spikeâs crypt like she usually did when she was upset, Buffy twisted Spikeâs arm into showing up at a kiddy party. Literally!
I NeverâŚ I didnât make the gameâŚ but I sure converted it to my wicked pleasure here *smirk*
Thanks to Farah for the quick read!! *smooch*
Italics & *& capitals = emphasize
~ = thoughts
It was Dawnâs birthday party, and everyone wanted to make the young girl happy.
The Summers women had planned on a night just for them then a big party at the Bronze for Dawn and her friends the day after. Joyce couldnât return in time from her business trip and the Bronze was closed for renovation. Therefore, the teenager, backed up by her lack of luck in life and of quote âtoo girly presentsâ minus of course Spike's âcool Sex Pistols CDâ, demanded that the gang fall to her requests.
Dawn wanted to play âI Neverâ.
Dawn puffed her cheeks. âItâs my birthday wish, Buffy.â
Buffy shrugged. âWell, itâs a stupid one. Iâll light the candles again and this time when you blow them out, wish something impossible- without saying âI wishâ, 'cause there only lies demony badness--- oooh, like a pony!â She pasted on an eager smile.
Dawn crossed her arms. âIf you make me do-over a wish, Iâll say I wish, and youâll get stuck with a demonic pony.â She narrowed her eyes. âThat eats ALL your shoesâŚ except flip-flops.â
Buffyâs face turned indignant but before she could retaliate, a mediator from the observing group intercepted.
âBuff. Deep breath!â Xander stepped between the girls. He turned to Dawn. âYou know better than to attack your sister's shoes, Dawnster,â he chastised her, only to have Dawn turn her glare at him.
âYouâre taking her side!â she said in a huff, nearly stomping her foot. âLike usual, itâs all about Buffy.â
Buffy pushed Xander out of the way. âDawn, stop acting like a kid. Iâm not letting you play this 'cause itâs an adult game.â
âBetter she does it here than out on the streets.â
Emerald eyes turned in a fierce look. Spike acted like he didnât care as he played with his lighter.
âDonât you dare light that thing in here. Oh. And yeah, who asked your opinion?â
Spike flicked his zippo closed and replaced it in his duster. He looked at Buffy like she was missing something. âNiblet wants to try something she saw on TV.â He ignored Buffyâs darkened expression stating âWhat the hell were you having my kid-sis watch when she went mental and snuck out to hang out with the undead!â. Buffyâs looks were very expressive. âYou rather she experiences it first hand with a bunch of one-track-mind whelps, or here under your slayer powered thumb?â
Buffy opened her mouth, closed it then scrunched her nose trying to rebut that.
Giles, who had been silent all this time, spoke up, âYou have no idea how it pains me to say this, Buffy, but I have to agree with Spike.â
Buffy sighed reluctantly. âI guess.â
âExcuse me.â Xander raised a finger, turned, walked to the window, moved the living room curtains to look out, then returned to the group surrounding the cake. At everyoneâs look he explained, âJust checking the world still exists.â
Buffy rolled her eyes. âOkay, guys, dig in, the sooner we eat Dawnâs face---â She grinned innocently when she saw Dawn twisted her lips at the hideous face on the childlike cake. â---the sooner we start the game and the sooner Dawn gets bored.â
Dawn squealed but she quickly held it back as soon as it was uttered. She bit her lip to stop a smile that wanted to emerge full blow in response to Spikeâs conspiring wink.
After Willow and Tara helped Buffy clear out the cake and the presents to the kitchen and dining room, the three girls came back laden with drinks and glasses, placing them on the living room table. Dawn pouted when all the alcohol was placed as far away from her as possible seeing as Buffyâs unwavering condition was changing the rules so that Dawn would drink soda instead.
The group took places on the ground surrounding the table.
âLetâs keep it easy and light âŚâ Buffy started only to end with an exaggerated âowâ when Dawnâs elbow rammed into her rib.
âBuffy, you promised, everything goes.â Dawn grinned widely. âYou were outnumbered in the vote. Everyone agreed that itâs not real âI Neverâ otherwise.â
Willow giggled when she heard Buffy mumble, âTraitors,â in stage whisper. The redhead caught everyoneâs attention with a small wave. âOkay, I think the birthday girl should start.â
Dawn picked the soda bottle and frowned trying to remember how the people on that late night movie acted. âUh, I neverâŚ smoked.â
Giles and Spike took a drink.
Dawn frowned. âI meant âŚ you know, âI never smoked potâ,â she explained on Gilesâ behalf. âNot smoke smoke.â
Giles shrugged, and again both he and Spike raised their glasses. A gasp to the right turned their attention to Taraâs eyes bugging as Willow took a drink as well.
âWillow?â Tara placed a boat load of questions in one word.
Willow blushed. âUm, OzâŚ wellâŚâ she trailed off.
âHereâs for dog boy, showing his gal the ropes!â Spike toasted, but an inch before the glass reached his mouth, Xanderâs hand shot out to grab him.
âNo toasts.â He wiggled his finger at the vampire. âEvil vamp wants to mooch on free drinks, he does it playing by the rules.â
âOn this cheap drink that canât fuzz out a pup?â Spike snorted and placed down his glass. âIâll win this hands down, Scrappy.â He titled his head. âNo real competition hereâŚ except maybe Ripper.â Spike chuckled at the competitive gleam that appeared in Xanderâs eyes.
To the left, Giles had taken off his glasses and placed them in his shirt pocket. He made himself more comfortable.
âOkay, going clock wise, I guess Iâm next,â Buffy said. She seemed to be getting into the mood of things. âI never âŚ skinny dipped.â
Again, Spike and Giles took a drink. Several grinned and held back loud hoots at a blushing Tara who took a sip as well. Willow bumped shoulders with her girlfriend and gave her a meaningful âcomplete details laterâ and they both giggled.
It was all silent for a while until Spike nudged Giles with his docs. âOi, mate. Donât tell me that little sip made you conk out already.â
Giles blinked noticing that everyone was looking at him expectantly. He hadnât realized it was his turn. Suddenly, what Spike had said registered and he turned to look at the smirking vampire. âIâll have you know, William, that I could drink you under the table.â
It was Gilesâ turn to smirk at how the reference darkened Spikeâs expression. The watcher had been apprehensive of this game. He had intended to try and sway Dawn from playing this, or at the very least excuse himself for some odd reason. However, the sad look that would have befallen the teenagerâs face put a stop to that all too soon.
âAs Spikeâs haughty attitude suggested, I should say mine. Well, thenâŚâ He frowned thinking. âI had neverâŚ wait, no. Thatâs not right. Ah, right, Iâd never worn black nail varnish.â
âReally??â Xander exclaimed. â'Cause in that picture I found with WillâŚ ye-ouch!â He rubbed at his calf where long witch nail had dug in. âNever mind.â
Giles twisted his lips, but observed as Spike, Buffy, Willow picked up their drinks.
Spike made a loud burp as he leaned back. He blew a kiss at Buffyâs disgusted look. âMy turn then. This one's a thinker.â He tilted his head back in what seemed like it would be deep thought, but that took no more than a second. âRight. I never dyed my hair.â And promptly took a drink himself.
He raised his eyebrow over the glass at everyoneâs infuriated look. As he pulled down the half empty glass he snickered as everyone, minus Xander, took a drink.
âI vote that unless you honestly never did âI Neverâ you are banned from the game. No, from the whole game area even! All in favor?â Xander shot a deadly glare at Spike.
Dawn exasperatedly rolled her eyes.
âHere here!â Buffy, however, agreed wholeheartedly as she unconsciously played with her hair. âXander. Itâs your turn.â
Xander opened his mouth and had to stop himself from grinding his teeth together when Spike whispered only for his ears, âWish you hadnât said that just now, donât ya?â
With anger choked words, Xander said, âI never got so drunk that I got confused.â
Buffy was the first to drink, followed by Giles and Spike.
Dawn pouted. âI really hope you all donât stick on saying grownup âI Neverâs.â
Buffy patted her sisterâs hair. âThis is your choice, Dawnie, remember.â She grinned evilly. âThis way if you drink to a grownup âI Neverâ Iâd know.â
Dawnâs eyes widened, she hadnât thought of that. âI could like not drink and youâd never know,â she said defiantly.
Buffy shrugged. âWell, thatâs against the rules, and you could get hexed or something.â
Dawn turned wide eyes at Willow, who shrugged. âThis is the hellmouth, Dawnie. I wouldnât try my luck,â she said, raising her shoulders apologetically.
âKeeping to the rules of truth games is a sacred bond.â Xander was physically set to pounce the minute that the next âI Neverâ applied to him.
Spike snickered. âEasy to say for the boy who has yet to drink.â
Xander pretended that Spike didnât exist anymore while he turned pleading eyes at Willow.
Willow gave a small smile. âI never ate a whole box of Twinkies by myself.â
With a whoop, Xander chugged down his glass as if drinking the entire glass would have him catch up to the others. He placed his glass down with a satisfied sigh.
Spike shook his head in mock sadness. âPity play.â
Xander, still loopy from the quick drink, stuck his tongue out at Spike.
Spike looked at the childish act with half lidded eyes. âBetter do something with that dangling meat, mate, or put it back where it belongs.â
Xander took a moment to process that before he felt his face heat up and he turned back to the table.
Spike was filled with satisfaction and when his eyes turned and caught Buffyâs, he stuck his tongue to the back of his teeth and leered.
âI-I never was attracted to s-someone I claimed to hate,â everyone snapped their attention to Taraâs whisper and watched her hair drop around her face, still not hiding the red tinged cheeks. The shy witchâs brand of bringing them back to the game shocked even her girlfriend.
Reluctantly, Xander, Spike and Buffy picked up their glasses. A second later, Giles did the same with a sigh.
Tara smiled when her girlfriend gave her a rolled eyed grin.
âI never made out with the same sex!â Dawn said trying to break the silent tension. She narrowed her eyes when all she got was shocked looks. She tapped his fingers. âWe-ll? You really donât want to enrage the âI neverâ Gods, do you?â That showed them for ignoring the birthday girl.
Naturally, Willow and Tara sipped their drink, pretty blushes on their faces.
Buffy pushed around her glass with her fingers, before picking it up and taking a swallow. She had a firm look when she placed it down. âBeer bad.â That explained enough.
Spike picked up the open bottle, poured down more alcohol into his glass, then upon a moment of thought, he did the same for Giles who only let out a low snort. The two Englishmen gulped down the whole glass with nearly no wince to register.
Buffyâs eyes were as big as saucers. âI donât want to know!â She looked on with fear at both men.
Xander was captivated with the table. It was the center of his being; no other reality existed but this. He even contemplated making a brand new living room table. One that didnât hold bad memories.
Spike and Giles caught the different young stares before wincing as they barely looked at each other. âBloody hell, never,â they said in unison.
Buffy hummed in thought. It was her turn to play again, wanting to move from the topic as soon as possible, âI never made a spell that went wrong.â
âThanks, Buff,â Xander said, though the tone of his voice claimed the opposite.
Everyone at the table -other than Buffy- took a drink, only Spike and Giles didnât have guilty looks on their faces, it was more of faraway gaze of someone who was trying to remember exactly what had transpired in their past dealings.
Buffy gave her sister a pointed glare when she sipped her soda guiltily.
And the game continued for several more rounds, in which Xander only got in two more drinks, even less than Dawn. It didnât matter that Buffy was upset at Dawn for stealing a fish for God knew what reason, or that her baby sister saw a porno, it mattered that in the âI Neverâ record, little Dawn was cooler than Xander.
The only victory that Xander had was when Spike mentioned in bored tones as he had tried to look down Buffyâs blouse, that he had never worn any âchit undiesâ. It was a testament of everything he HAD done, also a clear effort from the vampire to counter Xanderâs hopes in having a getting a drink sometime in the recent future, as the blond had done all night.
Xander would have giving him that round if Willow hadnât thrown at him one of her disapproving looks. So everyone ended up drinking in that round- yes, even Giles, who would be sure to get the weirdest looks the other day- all but Spike.
Xander snickered when Spike looked shocked and not a little impressed at him when he loudly slurped his drink, then made a satisfied sound with his tongue. Luckily for Xander, there was nothing in the rules for him to explain the when and how of the events. He would never live down that fraternity embarrassment, but at least it would only be between him, Willow and his college tormentors.
Why had he told her about that humiliation again? Right. She hadn't stopped nagging about why Xander had lipstick on his lips, thinking that he had kissed a girl. To save his sanity, Xander had given up and told her everything, but only after he made a pact with his friend not to tell anyone. They had spit-sworn and everything!
What threw the young man though, was that he could have sworn that there was a moment where Spike was looking a little too intently at the ladies of the room. He wasnât going to over-think that. There lied badness and a crazy vampire who would do anything to gain an upper hand, even if it were in a future game of âI Neverâ.
And, yeah, Spike was right in what he had proclaimed early on in the game, Xander thought hiding an unmanly pout. Spike was the first place in the number of drinks he had, and he still wasnât the least bit fuzzy headed. Drinks sucked. This game sucked. There was a reason he only played âSpin the Bottleâ.
âI never rode on a motorbike,â Willow said forlorn.
As always Spike and Giles refilled their drinks, but this time with the addition of Dawn.
Buffy smiled nicely at Spike. âMr. Pointy has been asking about you.â
Tara giggled too intoned in the game, and a little lightheaded, âI never had sex with a guy.â
Xander, Dawn and Tara sat this round out.
Xander mumbled, âIâm gonna pretend that I saw Giles *not* drink. Heck, Iâm gonna pretend I didnât see SPIKE drink. Iâm young, and apparently too innocent, and I need my sleep.â
âGonna stay awake all night thinking about me, Xander?â Spike said in a falsetto tone. He dodged Xander's punch. âThat Ethan bloke seems like a fun loving guy, eh, Rupes?â
Giles gave Spike his best Ripper look, even the vampire had to admit he felt a knot in his throat at that dark look.
âLa, la, la, itâs a happy place, full of red and purple flowers and none shoe eating ponies and Giles didnât have sex with evil EthanâŚâ Buffy sighed blissfully. Beer was bad but cheap whiskey wasnât.
âOi,â Spike said interested. âIn that paradise of yours, slayer, am I blissfully non-buggered by your ex-honey?â
âRiley?!â Dawnâs eyes widened.
Buffy suddenly noticed her sister, and clamped her hands over her ears. âNo! Save what little innocence you have!â she cried out desperately.
Dawn slapped Buffyâs booze weakened grip away. She caught a sick look on Spikeâs face.
âDoes Captain Cardboardâs hair stand straight up?â Spike asked with a tilt.
âAngel?!â the squeak was from Xander who was looking frantically around. âBleach, any kind. Even the kind that Buffy and Biteless use!â He scrubbed at his head as if to release the evil images.
Giles looked contemplative. âThatâs quite understandable seeing asâŚâ
âNo.â Buffy actually held Gilesâ lips together. Slayer swiftness seemed to be all in order. âI knew this was a bad, bad idea. It screamed to me âBuffy, Iâm bad,â so no more understandable seeing. I am blissfully drunk and will wake up of no memory of this night.â She nodded assertively then she sat back down. âDawnie.â
âI never had a tattoo.â Dawn grinned at Buffy.
âIâll have you know it wasnât consensual!â Buffy said as she took a drink. She mumbled in her drink, âItâs was all Gilesâs boyfriendâs fault.â
Dawn rolled her eyes. âYeah, the first one you mean.â She watched as Giles took a drink.
Spike titled his head. âI honestly dunno if I have any tats.â He swung his gaze around the table. âAnyone care to check? Harris?â When Xander pretended that he couldnât hear Spike's questioning 'innocent' tone, the vampire sighed. âAh, well, don't want to chance some game god takin' offence, so Iâll set this on out. Inking was more Angelusâ thing anyway.â
When Buffy replaced her glass with a content sigh, Spike continued as if he was having a conversation with her, âRemember that wicked beast on his right shoulder? How you could feel it if you close your eyes and lickâŚâ
With a swift move to the right, Spike chuckled as he avoided the stake now emended in the couch cushions.
Xander didnât move. He was frozen in his spot. His wide eyes though swerved as much as they could to his right and watched as the pencil thin stake pulsated with the impact.
âBuffy!â Dawn said in shock. âYou actually tried to kill Spike!â She pointed. âAnd so telling mom the couch is totally your fault.â She huffed. âWhoâs acting like a baby, if you read any of the books Giles told you to studyâŚâ
Buffy banged her head against the table top. âShort term memory, itâs really niceâŚ alcohol bad, made my reflexes girlyâŚ Spike dust niceâŚâ
Xanderâs motor functions finally kicked in. âSpike, couch, what about, gosh, I dunno, ME?!â he spluttered pointing at the short distance separating him and the sharp projectile. Looking around, he searched for some kind of acknowledgment at the very least, he found none. Well, other than Spike snickers but those could have been due to Buffyâs hair soaking up the spilled liquid.
That was funny actually.
A loud groan was heard. Giles was stretching as he got ready to stand up. âIâm afraid this has to be the last one for me, as it is, I wonder how I will drive back.â
âWait!â Dawn stood up to face him. âJust one more, and Iâm the birthday girl, and I should say it!â
âHurry up then, Bit, donât want me to catch the morning light. I donât freckle well.â
âMaybe you should try it,â Buffy said with venom, raising her head. If it werenât for Spike, this night wouldnât be as revealing as it was. It was all his fault.
âI never kissed a guy on the lips.â
Collective groaning at the reopening of that topic echoed in the room.
Buffy took a large gulp, somewhat unusual for her, but after the recent events no one faulted her. Willow took a sip finishing her glass, Tara right on her heels with a mumbled, âProm,â as an explanation. Spike chugged down his glass, before standing up, and handing Giles his own. Giles placed his glasses on his face, but took the offering with a brief incensed shake of his head then finished it off.
âGreat,â Xander whined as he and the others stood up. âJust me and DawnieâŚ w-w- what are you doing?!â the last was said in a horrified rush.
All eyes turned as one to look at Dawn who just finished wiping away the residue of gulping down the entire soda bottle.
She smiled sheepishly at them all.
Spike stalked over to her and took a sniff.
âEw.â Dawn slapped at him. âDonât smell me, Spike!â
âJust want to know who the bugger is so I can haveâŚ a nice talk with him.â
Buffy stood next to Spike in full slayer mood. âDawn, let Spike sniff you.â
âWhat?! No. Guys. Listen. This is the only way I could tell you all, I have a boyfriend. And no, Iâm not telling you his name, coz you all need to get used to that idea first, ok?â Dawn looked pleadingly at the protective group. âPlease.â
Tara patted Dawnâs shoulder. âYou know, Dawn, you couldâve told us this in a different way.â
Dawn shrugged sheepishly. âThis was way more fun.â
Buffy groaned. âI canât deal with this tonight. Iâm too info-ed out.â She yawned. âOkay, people who donât live here, leave. Dawn.â She caught his sisterâs eyes. âTomorrow weâre buying you a chastity-belt.â
Dawn took on an outraged appearance especially when she saw Spike nodding.
âDonât think they sell those anymore, but I bet I can get a fine deal with a demon I knowâŚâ
âGood night, ladies!â Xander waved at Tara and Willow who were making their escape. âIt wasâŚ interesting. I donât think I know a group of people more, sadly.â
When Spike was about to write down his demon supplierâs name Xander grinned in goodbye at Buffy, wished a last happy birthday at Dawn then he dragged Spike out by the arm.
Behind them, they heard Giles say his goodnight before pulling the door closed behind him. The watcher stood next to the two men on the porch.
âI think Iâm sober enough to drive now.â
Xander raised his eyebrows in uncertainty.
"I am," Giles defended, offended. He stumbled towards his car, hearing Xander's unsure voice behind him calling, "Are you sure?"
Giles didnât answer and Xander and Spike watched as he moved down the driveway drunkenly, getting into his car and driving away.
âYou know he went back home to his âsecretâ single malt stash.â
Spike grunted in response.
âWhat?â the vampire sighed after a couple minutes of silence only punctuated by the sounds of the girls inside the house getting ready for bed.
Xander smacked a hand on his face. âThis got to be the cheap booze talking, but whatâs the deal with everyoneâs âgay experiencesâ. I mean, I know I never went to college, that doesnât mean that experimenting is limited to people in collage! You never went to collage!â
Spike scoffed. âI graduated top of my literature class, Numchuck.â He shook his head. This sure was a night of honest revelations. Thankfully, Xander was too wrapped up in his current pitiful life to notice Spikeâs previous one.
âItâs not fair! Giles!â Xander said the last word in an offended way.
âIâm sure he was headboy back in his day.â Spike sniggered.
Xander slapped his hands over his head, gripping his hair. âThatâs just wrong! I mean Dawnâs way cooler than me,â his voice dropped and so did his shoulders.
Spike scratched the back of his ear. âWant a snog then?â he said promptly.
Xander could hear his neck snap from the quick moment, but he couldnât care. âWHAT?â
âIâm your best choice if you want to get that off your closeted âmust experienceâ list. You prefer Rupert, then?â
âThank you for noticing.â
Mop of hair shook in an effort to make sense of it all.
Xander finally turned contemplative eyes at the bored looking vampire. âWhen did you last drink blood?â
âWhy? You offering?â
âFine. Uh, âround sunset.â
Xander did quick calculations in his mind.
Xander might be less tolerant to drink than he gave himself credit for.
Spike raised his eyebrow. âWell, no wonder youâre sweepinâ them bints left and right.â
Xander beamed cheekily. âJust trying to catch up with you, Matcho-man.â
âLetâs do this and be over with.â
âHowâŚâ Xander didnât get to finish, because his mouth was otherwise occupied.
Xander had a moment of hesitation, the urge to pull back and pound at the cool alien feeling of another manâs lips on him, but that was fleeting. He felt Spike respond to him giving in without hesitation, lips softening against his, less forceful than at first. It was kissing, nothing new in that. Except everything. It was different, from the feel of the body against him, to the strong hand gripping his face into place, the firm shoulders he was leaving his nails imprint in, the feel of the hand sliding down his back, and the cool tongue dominating his. It was overwhelming his senses.
It could have been only a ten seconds or ten minutes for all Xander knew. He just knew that he wasnât the one who moaned when it ended at the loss. He would swear on his parentsâ life if it came to it. He also didnât feel lightheaded nor experienced what the teenage girls call âjelly kneesâ.
âThat ânuff experiencing for ya?â
Xander blinked. âUh huh.â
Spike smirked. âStill have it.â He nodded as if speaking to someone else. âThatâs nice to know.â He stuck his hands into his duster and walked away.
Xander nodded to himself after several moments standing there alone. He walked down the path to the driveway, and stood next to his car, a distant look in his eyes. He shook his head as he searched his pockets for his car keys. A frown marred his face. He could have sworn that the keys were in his jeans pockets. He even patted them to make sure right beforeâŚ
Right before he dragged Spike outside, a second prior to Buffy declaring the vampire Guardian of Dawnâs Virtue which in her intoxicated mind might have seemed the best course of action. Xander didn't know if he should take up that position himself as he thought about Dawn having a teenage admirer, God he hoped he was a teenager, you didn't know with those Summers girls. However, something kept his thoughts of tearing the anonymous â for now - *boy* a new one at bay, enough for him to focus ...
Spike had his keys, which were attached to his wallet.
And Xander could care less.
He had supplied the party with drinks and his wallet was empty save for an expired library card he had kept because it made him look cool. And he had forgotten his license like usual right next to his spare car keys.
With a shrug, Xander started to whistle as he walked down the street to his apartment.
He didnât need to look cool. He was. Being pick-pocketed, groped and French kissed by a guy, a dead guy, put him three points over Dawn in the game.
He was now tied with Tara!
The EndâŚ See, this was suppose to be a funny ficlet, heck I fooled myself enough to believe that a drabble was possible. NaĂŻve thy is my name. Anyway, I wonder if there is potential for more in this? It kinda out grew my first contemplation of it. Should be studying for my last exam when I'd first written this. But as Xander so eloquently thought, I could care less! *pokes fic to see if something else comes out*
Series: Messing with His Head (#5)
Feedback: Do itâŚ you know you want to! Please? firstname.lastname@example.org
Rating: 15+ for strong words.
Summary/TimeLine: During Season 5 BtVS. Xander figures some things out... or does he?
Disclaimer: The chars belong to Joss though I borrowed someâŚ am going to keep them for sometimeâŚ give them tea and crumpetsâŚ maybe make them show me their sexy dance and if I ever get bored *snort* I'll return them.
Distribution: You want? Just ask, I swear I won't say no! I just want to know where they sleep.
Sequel to: Oblivious Prey, To Be or Not to Be a Dream, Spanking Clean, Gâmorning.
Check MWHH Archive for the chapters in order.
Many thanks to lusciousxander and to mygothangel for amazing quick beta!
Italics & *& capitals = emphasize
~ = thoughts
( Too Close for Comfort )
Thanks to lusciousxander for the quick beta!
Rating: Something for all agesâŚ
Characters: Xander. Mentioned: Spike, Joyce.
Note: Part of the Missing Scene Series MiSS but is in fact a stand-alone like all of them are.
Summary/TimeLine: Post Forever. Whatever happened to those flowers?
Warning: Mention of character death.
Thanks to lusciousxander for the quick read!
( Weighing Down )